NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES

At the beginning of every season I want to change, to do better but by the end of that season nothing changes. It's been like this since I was 16. I'm a born dreamer and fantasizer, so it's natural that when things start changing I want to accomplish every single goal i've ever made or dreamt about but then, somehow, I find myself back at square one. Life becomes a cycle of ambition, excitement, and eventual disappointment. I tell myself each time, this is it, only to end up carrying forward the same unfinished resolutions, year after year.

I think there’s a part of me that is afraid to break free from what I know, even if what I know isn’t necessarily what I want. Changing would mean giving up comfort for something uncertain, and even though I crave change, that step feels overwhelming. When I make grand plans, they feel inspiring, like they’re bringing me closer to the life I envision for myself. But as time goes by, those plans begin to feel like a huge mountain to climb, especially with the habits and routines that keep me tethered to the same spot.

So, if nothing changes, if nothing changes, where does that leave me?

It’s taken years to realize that change doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing leap. Sometimes it’s the small, consistent actions that create a ripple effect over time. If I can commit to a single habit, like spending ten minutes a day focusing on one goal, it might not feel monumental, but it’s a start.

Because the truth is, change is a series of little shifts, the kinds that go unnoticed but build momentum. It’s saying yes to myself in the small moments and celebrating progress rather than perfection. So, instead of hoping that one day I’ll feel like a different person, I’m learning to find satisfaction in the process.

This season, I’ll do things a little differently. I’ll take it step by step and give myself permission to evolve, slowly. And maybe, by the end, I’ll finally be where I’ve been hoping to be all along.